Optimist or Pessimist?

Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View


"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

Network Marketing - the New 21st Century Factory

After pledging to be done with network marketing, I recently got pulled into yet another network marketing product and one that I admittedly love.

Now for the "good" stuff. This is the umpteenth company I've been involved in but quite frankly, the only one that I am really working as a "business" versus a hobby. I think my main motivation with the other companies was to simply get great products at a discount - LOL.

How often are we told that network marketing provides great residual income as well as time and financial freedom that you cannot get from a traditional J-O-B. We are told that in network marketing you are working for yourself but not by yourself.

I wholly agree that given the right product residual income can be a terrific stream of income and I think everyone should consider network marketing for that purpose. Certainly Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki think so as they have endorsed network marketing in their book "Why We Want You to Be Rich."

But as to time and financial freedom, I beg to differ, especially when you're building a team in network marketing. My experience with all the network marketing companies I've been involved in heretofore is that there is no easy street to that time and financial freedom for most people. A lot of the top leaders in network marketing companies are career network marketers who oftentimes bring a "downline" with them when they join a company.

If you're just an average Joe or Jane, however, to seriously build a team you must eat, sleep and breathe network marketing -- always prospecting, always chasing down leads to present the "opportunity" to some unsuspecting or sometimes "suspecting" soul. To move up the various levels you need an endless funnel of leads whether they are personal, referred or purchased. It is not an armchair business.

Secondly, to stay in the game you must be a purchaser of the product or whatever the "thing" is. There's always some monthly commitment you must personally meet and that usually involves money.

Look folks, this isn't time and financial freedom to me. Chasing down leads seems like a plain ole job, but instead of being inside a corporate structure, which admittedly today is far less stable than in years past, you're totally on your own to make it happen. Even at the top of the chain, the leaders are still prospecting (or least urging their downline to prospect) lest that gargantuan monthly check find itself whittling away.

The myth of network marketing is that you sign up, get family and friends to sign up and bang, you're on your way to financial and time freedom. It's rarely that easy or simple. If it's your third foray into network marketing, for example, then your family and friends probably don't even want to know about your new company so now you must find "new" people to cultivate -- and that takes time!

The reality of network marketing is that you're still working for someone else -- your upline. Furthermore, today's networking marketing has become a well-oiled machine where the overriding model is to make yourself "duplicatable" -- different from the Corporate America model where you really want to be unique and stand out. GM and Chrysler may be gone as we know them but by golly, network marketing is the
new 21st century factory --- grind out x number of widgets and one of those widgets is YOU!

Not that there is anything wrong with being a widget. The key thing is to know what you're getting into when you sign up for a network marketing company. It's definitely not your Uncle Harry's company any more.

Happy Prospecting!

When Your Church is Not Enough

A friend recently invited me to an introduction to a very popular lifelong coaching program. I was pretty amazed at the number of people at the session as well as the passion of the people leading the introduction.

What it ultimately said to me is that people are looking for "truth" they can hang their hats on and they will search high and low to find it. Just think of the millions who tuned into Oprah's "New Earth" series. Heaven knows what she has in mind for the fall season.

Based upon numerous conversations I have had amongst friends and acquaintances, there is a universal theme arising. The theme is that many people simply are not being fed by their churches. I say "many" because certainly many people are indeed being fed by their church but I suspect that the amount not being fed is really more than "many.

This is a subject that I will be writing about more in the future.

But for the time being I want to lay out some very basic steps for people seeking more spiritual nourishment.

#1. If you're not being fed by your particular church, then find another one! There are thousands of churches out there. The important thing is not to give up on being "churched." If traditional church doesn't appeal to you, then consider attending a "house church." Just ask around if anyone knows someone who is actually conducting church in their home. You'd be surprised at the number of people who are doing this. I truly believe that community and fellowship with other Christians are vital in getting closer to God.

#2. Start reading the Bible. I mean really reading it in a way that you can understand. You no longer have to wade though the King James Version. The Bible could not be presented in more contemporary and understandable language than what you find in "The Message." The important thing is to find a translation where the words start to resonate deep inside of you.

#3. If you feel uncomfortable sharing your spiritual disconnect with friends and family, then find someone with whom you can speak openly on this topic. Don't miss out on developing a closer relationship with God because you feel you have no one to talk to. There are people just waiting to share the "good news" with you!

Now you are the body of Christ, and each of you is a part of it.
(1 Corinthians 12:27)

This blog post may be reprinted as an article and shared with others as long as you give the following attribution:

Copyright 2009. Written by Paula Quick, Certified Christian Coach, www.spiritualhospitalitycoach.com

The Law of Attraction and the Blissful Combopreneur

Lest you have any doubt, the Law of Attraction DOES work, even when you're not consciously trying to put it to use. That's why many coaches focus on getting you to be a "conscious creator," versus an unwitting one.

Consider the following:

Back in September I created a social network focused on entrepreneurs who for whatever reason are doing their entrepreneurial thing AND working a part-time job and actually loving it. They're loving it as opposed to bemoaning the fact that they are working outside of their business.

Unfortunately there seems to be a stigma attached to being an entrepreneur AND still continuing to work, especially if it's part-time.

God recently shifted me into a part-time position that I really, truly love and which allows me to still do my Reflexology and Coaching without a hassle. Nevertheless, I noticed that when people see me in my new assignment, I can tell that some are assuming I am working part-time because of the "economy" and my business must be "off."

Truth be told, however, if I were to do it again, I would (and will) continue to work a part-time job whether my business is making it or not.

True, the part-time job allows some extra spending money so that I don't have to tap other funds. It is also true that having to take a reprieve to take care of my mother when she fell two years ago and then spending thousands of dollars for medical care for my beloved Shih Tzu Starr didn't help matters any. However, I can assure you that the "economy" is not why I have gladly taken on this part-time gig.

It allows me to get out of my home office -- which is sorely needed during the day --and to be in an industry where I am not trying to solve someone else's problems - I'm just allowed to "be" my happy self.

When I created the social site, which is called "Blissful Combopreneurs" I actually was coming out of a horrendous experience working part-time for a small, on its last legs company.

I'm happy to report, however, that now I am the epitome of the Blissful Combopreneur. I love my new part-time assignment and I love the fact that it integrates so well into my business. Praise the Lord!

Even though I had no idea that this new gig was on the horizon, the Law of Attraction has made me a totally Blissful Combopreneur!

If you would like to know more about this network, please visit (and join, if you like): http://combopreneurs.ning.com

Do you have a Blissful Combopreneur story? If so, please share!

Sparkly Twinkle!

I had to take my darling Shih Tzu Twinkle to the vet today because she seems to have lost a couple of pounds. After having lost my 16-year-old Shih Tzu Starr in October, the idea of something being wrong with this new addition to the household was a sobering one. So far, we think she is just full of energy and has worked off a couple of pounds simply from running throughout the yard.

At any rate I found myself singing "Look at the That Face" to her (anybody remember Barbara Streisand's version?) while we were waiting for the vet to walk in.

The point I want to make is that if you are feeling blue or somehow sad, a pet can lift your spirits like nobody's business because they have no worries -- they KNOW they will be taken care of. Plus, if you can sing to them -- so much the better for YOUR health and wellness!

P.S. Some blood work was drawn just to make sure she's A-OK. I'm confident that she is.

P.S.S. Blood work came back OK. We think it's all her running around the yard that is causing her to lose some pounds. Maybe I should run with her :)

In the meantime, here is a photo of Sparkly Twinkle. I hope she makes your heart melt as much as she does mine!!!

Looking for a New Career? Have You Ever Thought About Foodservice?

Well, I can't believe it has been more than a month since I posted but during that time of introspection and reflection, I have done a major revamping of my business.

Oh, I am still doing Reflexology, taking clients on a referral basis only since I also have a part-time position that keeps me engaged.

The big news is what I am doing in the coaching arena.

I spent 23 years on the marketing / advertising side of foodservice and consumer products at the legendary Reynolds Metals Company. Because I had done PR so intensely for so many years, I didn't want to do PR as a business when I started my own company. I launched into my other passions -- aromatherapy and feng shui to feed my inner desire to share these transformational modalities with others.

Truthfully, I really didn't see a practical way to weave my corporate foodservice experience into a business.

But as only God would have it he presented an opportunity that allowed me to have a big-time a-ha moment.

The result of it is that my coaching niche is now geared toward:

1. Displaced white collar professional workers who are now thinking about a job in foodservice. You would be amazed at what the foodsevice industry has to offer displaced workers who may think that working in a restaurant is "beneath them."

2. People who would like to start their own business in foodservice -- perhaps open a restaurant, start a catering business of offer a gourmet specialty, such as wedding cakes, cupcakes or chocolate.

Whether you (or someone that you know) want short-term coaching in this area or a longer term approach to exploring the possiblities in foodservice, I can help.

Too many businesses fail because they haven't done the adequate preparation to be successful. Let's get them coached for success!

Please call 804-363-5721 for a no-obligation 30-minute consultation.

The Economy is Ruining Our Business .. Or Is It?

Two people shared this story with me but I don't know the original source of where it came from. I DO know that I wanted to pass it on. So many people are feeling stressed out over the economy. This little story should provide some solace.


The Man Who Sold Hot Dogs

There was a man who lived by the side of the road and sold hot dogs.

He was hard of hearing so he had no radio.

He had trouble with his eyes so he read no newspapers.

But he sold good hot dogs.

He put up signs on the highway telling how good they were.

He stood on the side of the road and cried; “buy a hot dog, mister?

And people bought.

He increased his meat and bun orders.

He bought a bigger stove to take care of his trade.

He finally got his son home from college to help him out.

But then something happened.

His son said, “Father, haven’t you been listening to the radio?

Haven’t you been reading the newspapers?

There’s a big depression.

The European situation is terrible.

The domestic situation is worse.”

Where upon the father thought, “well, my son’s been to college, he reads the papers and he listens to the radio, and he ought to know.”

So the father cut down on his meat and bun orders, took down his advertising signs, and no longer bothered to stand out on the highway to sell his hot dogs.

And his hot dog sales fell almost overnight.

“You’re right, son” the father said to the boy.

“We certainly are in the middle of a great depression.”

Or are we?????